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I watched Melania Trump’s documentary – it left me with 1 overwhelming query

COMMENT: This PR puff piece has me asking one main factor

The ‘Melania’ documentary has confronted heavy criticism (Picture: Channel 5/Getty Photos)

Light Reader, I spent Saturday night time and my very own cash seeing Melania so that you don’t must. After 25 years as Categorical columnist, I owe you that sacrifice. As one hour and 48 minutes of my life ebbed away, a single phrase throbbed in my beleaguered mind: ‘WHY?’ ‘What was the First Girl’s intention?’ 

The £28million price funneled on to her by Jeff Bezos apart, why did she enable cameras to ‘seize’ closely structured, leadenly scripted, fake behind-the-scenes moments in her baffling life? There isn’t one off-the-cuff utterance on this rigidly managed PR puff. Melania reads a stilted voiceover with all of the oomph of a disengaged Dalek. She appears completely excellent in each body.

She is immaculately made-up, flowing follicles subjugated into army alignment. She wears trouser fits custom-tailored to be much less comfortable than armour-plating. She clicks alongside at ferocious velocity in viciously vertiginous stilettos. The flawless façade doesn’t slip. We by no means glimpse the First Girl in p.js or gymnasium package.

Even after 20 straight hours in heels on Inauguration Day, she doesn’t enable herself a wince when, in what should be abject agony, she prises off the killer Christian Louboutins.

Melania talks about her ‘imaginative and prescient’. Costume designers, florists, celebration planners and home workers exist merely to make ‘her imaginative and prescient’ actuality. She believes she ‘works with’ her groups. After all, the invites in scarlet envelopes, billows of blousy peonies, and Herve Pierre white ballgown with black accents, structured internally ‘with out a single seen seam’, are conceived and created with out her.

She swans in, requests a deeper crimson or further stiffening on the bodice and woodenly thanks her serfs for doing her bidding.

She says she works for the good thing about the world’s kids. No kids characteristic within the movie. Even her 6 foot 8 son Barron doesn’t utter a phrase. The opposite Trump kids and grand-children are airbrushed out. She misses her mom and pays a ‘personal go to’ to gentle a candle in her reminiscence.

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The cameras seize her standing rigidly to consideration. Her father is noticed, wanting exhausted. She may discuss to him about her mom. She may give him a cuddle. She doesn’t. She may have proven snaps of her humble origins in Slovenia. She doesn’t. Melania has no enjoyable, no associates, no hobbies and no sense of humour.

She claims to like Michael Jackson’s music, however doesn’t know the phrases of Billy Jean. I do know her no higher now earlier than sitting via this sterile claptrap and I’m undecided I wish to. Why, why, why Melania?

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